The Other Half of Nothing
by Alex Axis
Summary: Ritsuka still loves Soubi, even if he has left the world. Also, he doesn't much like his new classmate Kai, untill he realizes he is the Fighter to Loveless. He may not remain 'Loveless' forever...
1. A Butterfly's Funeral

**Neko: **Hello! Welcome to the first chapter of this fan-fiction! I hope you enjoy, although it is very hard to believe I'm killing off Soubi in the VERY first chapter…It helps the plot, although ultra ULRA depressing. Please, refrain from killing me o-o

**Warning: This is about shounen ai…Possible lemons. If offended carefully press the 'x' button in top right corner and leave us fangirls in peace. Thank you. Also, I don't own Loveless woe is ME!**

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_Chapter One_

_A Butterfly's Funeral. . ._

Ritsuka walked down the stairs he resided in since the 'incident' years ago. He hated that place and still does. It was the place in which his mother beat him regularly always asking him the same question.

"_Where is my Ritsuka? What have you done to my Ritsuka? Where has he gone!"_

To these questions he had no answer to. It showed too, his mother beat him to the point of large bruises covering his face and back, cuts were down his arms, some not from his mother. It was self inflicted; he had become more depressed since the death of his brother, Seme.

This place was also the place where he and his lovely Butterfly, Soubi, met. Today however Ritsuka would not see Soubi come through his window, with his smirk and teasing eyes. No, today Ritsuka would meet Soubi at a different place, it would be the last time he'd ever see his beautiful butterfly. This time he would not be able to look into those pretty golden orbs.

He soon realized he had been walking onwards and he was halfway to the sickening destination. He looked ahead and saw what he called his, "friends," Yayoi and Yuiko. They were dressed in all black, as he was. For the dismal occasion he was in a loose black button-up shirt. He also wore a pair of black pants that were a little loose and bore a silver chain stringing from the front pocket to the back.

He suddenly felt a wave of grief; he was going to the morgue, to see his butterfly for the final time. Hot tears began forming in his eyes and he began breathing heavier. He quickly wiped them away and continued on.

Yuiko looked behind and saw Ritsuka wit his head down and it looked as though his feet weighed more then his slender body. She stopped and waited for Ritsuka to pass her before she began again. They were now standing side by side.

"Ritsuka…Don't be so sad, Soubi-kun wouldn't have wanted it." She said in almost a whisper scared of what his reaction would be. She had no idea how attached he had grown to the blonde college student, Soubi. She knew how much he cared for the blonde when he took the news of his death so, passionately.

Ritsuka never replied to her statement he just walked through the doors of the funeral home. Before them there was a dark red-wood coffin. Beside it there lay a vase of blue and black roses, they had been picked by Ritsuka.

Ritsuka felt the tears form again, he didn't want to go look at him, lying there expressionless. He didn't want to see his butterfly pinned by the wood casket. He wanted to see his butterfly free, he wanted to see the careless Soubi he knew and came to _love _alive. He felt his legs moving towards the casket against his heart's commands.

He was within feet of it when he stopped. He let the tears start to flow then. He walked up the rest of the way and stopped in front of Soubi. He looked at him, his shoulder length blonde hair was out. He looked far from peaceful. His face was frozen in a pained expression. It brought Ritsuka to his knees literally. He had fallen to floor, tears coming down in streams from his dark eyes. The butterfly's face was pale and lifeless.

Ritsuka let out a half sob, half scream. He got up and ran from that retched place. The last place he saw his _beloved _Soubi. This is when he envied Seme the most. He had gotten to be Soubi's sacrifice until the day it killed him. Ritsuka ran to the park where Soubi had kissed him for the first time.

He pulled out a razor blade he had previously mutilated his arm with. He then began slicing away at his skin attempting to forget the pain he felt tugging at his torn heart. He wished somehow he would get over it.

It soon began to rain and his blood was washed away. He sat curled up under a tree near a picnic table. He sat there sobbing silently. He wished he could've fallen asleep there, or maybe have gone home to his 'loving' mother. Instead he just sat there in the pouring down rain, wishing for his love to return the whole night. All Ritsuka wanted was someone to love him but, he would forever remain _Loveless_ it seemed.

……………………….

**Neko: **Yes….Yes I know, I could hardly get pass the part about him looking at the dead body! But please trust me Ritsuka will never forget his love Soubi, but he will find someone…nice and…sweet? To fill the void in his LOVELESS heart. Oh the sorrow. Please review and I'll update as soon as possible! TANKI.


	2. The 'Unlucky' Ones

**Neko: **Hello again my lovelies! Oh, what a beautiful day in Summer Vacation, heh. A wonderful day to create more drama and almost angst-ish humor in our beautiful Ritsuka's world! T.T I still feel horrible for killing Soubi-kun! But as I have said he will soon have a new…uhm…'toy?' Hah. Toy…I make myself snigger.

**Oh yes I must say, I do not own any of the Loveless characters…Well, in this fic I do lay a claim on Kai…He's not in Loveless and he's MY SMEXY KITTY :O**

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_Chapter 2_

_The 'Unlucky' Ones_

Ritsuka walked to school the next day, he figured it would take his mind off of his aching heart. He walked into the classroom and immediately the class began whispering about him. News always traveled fast in middle school. He simply sat in his usual seat waiting for the ring of the bell which took no amount of time for it rang not a minuet later.

_**---Ring---**_

"Class, today we have a new student transferring from Okinawa. His name is Urusawa Kai. Urusawa-san you can come in now." The teacher motioned for the door as a boy entered.

The boy, Kai, was the same height as Ritsuka if not slightly taller. He had bright blue eyes that seemed to almost glow against his pale face. His hair was shoulder length and messy, it was a dark shade of black with almost a bluish tint to it. He was lanky and wore a black shirt simply stating on it, "UNLUCKY" with a three leaf clover that had gothic chains adorning it. His pants were slightly baggy for his small waist and they had a simple chain hanging from the front pocket and attaching on at the back somewhere. His bag was slung over his shoulder leisurely.

He walked into the room and grunted obviously unhappy at the situation, "…Hello…" He murmured looking at the floor. He nervously adjusted an arm cuff that reached just below his elbow on his right arm. There were studs on the knuckles and chains criss-crossing down the side. It jingled gently as he pulled it tighter onto his skinny arm.

"Urusawa-san you can sit behind Yayoi or next to Ritsuka near the back. Your choice those are my only available seats. Also class, please be kind to little Kai here." The teacher said before turning to the board to begin her lesson.

Kai walked to the back of the classroom sitting next to Ritsuka, as he liked to be in the back of the classroom. He made a slight wave to Ritsuka and looked down at the desk.

"…You…Look onto my book; you're going to fail before you begin if you keep daydreaming like that." Ritsuka commanded Kai, he suddenly felt as if he needed to try and help the new student.

"Uh…ok, uh…What is your name?" Kai looked up at Ritsuka looking into his dark eyes, to him they seemed sad and cold.

"My name? It's Ritsuka." He told him emotionlessly.

Kai smiled slightly, "Nice to meet you I'm Kai." He nodded to Ritsuka and listened to the lesson wordlessly until lunch break.

When the teacher released them all for lunch Kai followed Ritsuka to his table. Ritsuka had decided he wouldn't eat. It probably wouldn't stay down even if he tried.

After a while of awkward silence Ritsuka turned to Kai who was staring intently at the wooden table, almost…studying it?

"What do you want?" Ritsuka asked the boy breaking his concentration on the lunch table.

"Uh...I…don't know…I'm sorry am I in your way, I can leave." He stuttered, he sounded like a cat that had been kicked a few too many times.

"No, its ok, I was just wondering…" Ritsuka couldn't put his hand on it, but he felt as if he knew this person. He suddenly felt something on his leg and squeaked in surprise.

He looked down and it was a black tail, Kai's. "Ack, I'm sooooo sorry! It has a mind of its own I swear!" Kai blushed and looked down his locks covering his brilliant eyes.

Ritsuka groaned and looked up. He suddenly found himself laughing at poor Kai.

Kai looked up with teary eyes, "D-don't laugh at me!" His brilliant eyes flashed with anger when Ritsuka didn't stop, he couldn't.

"I said stoppit!" He growled at Ritsuka as a blue light emitted from him. Ritsuka looked stopped laughing and looked at him.

"Y-you're a…Fighter?" he wondered out loud, "But, what? Who? Who's your Sacrifice!" He suddenly felt a sharp pain go through him and heard a muffled voice in his head that wasn't his own.

He gripped at his head, "What's happening! Who are you? What are you doing stop!" Ritsuka yelled at Kai.

Kai just sat there as angry tears formed in his eyes, "Y-you're the one…The one they wanted…All my pain, it's _your_ fault." He took Ritsuka by his shoulders and shook him savagely.

"It's your entire fault, what they've done to me! Where were you? Why did you never help me?" Kai questioned.

"What the hell are you talking about! I don't know you!" Ritsuka finally said and Kai stopped the anger slowly leaving his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry…" Kai got up and left. Ritsuka didn't see him the rest of the day at school; maybe Ritsuka was wrong to think he could escape stress at school…

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**Neko: **Confusing? I know, it'll all be explained I swear! O-o I drew a picture of Kai, and he's smexy…-drool- Please Read and Reviw!


	3. Why did it have to be me?

**Neko: **I'm so sorry for the late updates forgive me! I'll clear some stuff up ok!

Disclaimer- Don't own Loveless…Just Kai…Because I made him! He's all MINES!

………….

_Chapter 3_

_Why did it have to be me?_

"_It's your entire fault, what they've done to me! Where were you? Why did you never help me?" _

These are the words Kai Urusawa had said to him so bitterly, with so much hate, but why?

Ritsuka slouched down deeper into his bathtub. This always seemed to be the place he cleared his clouded thoughts. This is the place he thought about Soubi, his beautiful, flawless butterfly.

_Why do I dwell on him so…Why do I make myself suffer?_

He felt tears well in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away before standing up. He wrapped a towel around his waist.

………………..

Kai sat beneath a tree in the park. He had no home to return to so he sat in the park. He didn't want a home to return to.

The dark haired boy looked down at the dead leaves under his boot, "I hate him…" He growled tears swelling in his bright blue eyes. He was referring to Ritsuka…Loveless.

Everyone had thought Ritsuka was the only half of Loveless. Then, when Beloved, Soubi, died he was brought to existence. All he remembered when he woke was extreme pain. Also…a face, his face…Ritsuka. This is why he blamed him.

Another reason he despised Ritsuka was because he claimed to be 'Loveless' and yet he had loved. He felt the feeling his heart would never know. Kai would never feel this feeling that they say everyone has, _love._

Kai then got up, thoroughly disgusted with himself for thinking of him again. He hated to look at him.

…

Then, his mind went blank and when he awoke he felt a sudden feeling of regret. He had thought horribly of Ritsuka again. It was his other part, the one that hated. The one _they_ tried so hard to repress, for the pure fact this part was so scared and helpless. The strong part had killed so many of them. Their blood also, staining the weaker hands. He hated the other half.

All the feelings he locked inside were kept in that half, Kai had learned to call this part of him, Kuroi…

Kai had been lost deep in his thoughts and didn't even notice that he had walked down a street and stood in front of a house that read "Aoyagi" on the name plate.

He stared at it with his curios azure orbs. Then the he heard a window open above him. He looked up and saw a fire escape leading up to a small balcony.

Kai quietly climbed the fire escape and almost jumped at the sight before him, it was Ritsuka.

"K-Kai!" Ritsuka backed away with a shocked look on his face as he saw the boy that had said such hurtful things to him.

Kai didn't say anything but, he shivered. It was getting close to winter and he still only wore the black T-Shirt that bore the chained three leaf clover stating "Unlucky," and his thin arm warmers.

Ritsuka looked him over, "Come inside before you catch a cold." He walked into his room with a speechless Kai behind him.

"…I'm sorry…" Kai finally murmured looking down at Ritsuka's floor which they were both sitting on.

"Stop saying you're sorry so much, it's stupid." Ritsuka said simply as he pulled out a sweater and handed it to Kai, "put it on, you're freezing."

"Thank you…" Kai took it with a light pink gracing his pale face. He slid off the arm warmers revealing multiple scars on his forearms. He quickly put the sweater on, it was a black one with a hood, he noticed him and Ritsuka wore the same size just about.

Ritsuka was still staring at his arms, even though the sweater now covered them. "You made those didn't you?" Ritsuka asked with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"Some of them…" Kai barely choked out before he fell to the floor in an emotional breakdown. He was curled into a fetal ball, crying like a little boy.

Ritsuka could only stare and then he leaned down whispering into Kai's cat ear, "I'm sorry Kai-kun."

Kai continued his helpless tears until he fell asleep. Ritsuka didn't know what to do. He knew he couldn't pick him up; he was the same size if not bigger.

Ritsuka just decided to lay a spare blanket over Kai and give him a pillow. He sighed and lay in his own bed.

Sleep didn't come easy to Ritsuka, it never did. He found himself staring at the sleeping Kai. The moonlight his hair making the blue tint seem pale and he looked almost angelic, lying there. In reality though Ritsuka knew Kai had flaws, just like he did. Many painful flaws. Flaws that made him hurt his self so he knew he could still feel pain. Yes, Ritsuka knew this pain. It was almost as if he knew _exactly_ how Kai Urusawa felt.

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**Neko: **End of yet another chapter, well my lovelies less confusing or more? Oh well, deal! I'm gonna be gone for a week or so, so minor hiatus!

REVIEW MINIONS!


	4. Can't Take the Fight from the Kid

**Neko: Forgive me, forgive me I'm terribly sorry for the delayed update writers' block has been eating away slowly at my mind. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me!**

**Kuro Neko: They will never forgive you…EVER…you're a horrible person, now write the fan fiction…I enjoy the sexy gay guys!**

**Neko: T.T I'm so loved! –threatens to kill Kuro- I swear to jeebus I know ninjitsu! O.O Er….I don't own anything…**

**Kuro Neko: Except Kai….We own Kai hee hee….**

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_Chapter Four_

_You Can't Take the Fight from the Kid_

_You hate him, remember what he caused? It was his fault…It was his entire fault they did those things to you. That's why I'm here._

'But, I don't hate him…It's not his fault, he didn't know. He couldn't have. He isn't the bad one. I am.' Kai tried to argue with his inner self but, it always seemed to win against his distinct doubts.

He suddenly felt someone shaking him, "Hey, wake up." This was Ritsuka's voice. Then all the thoughts of yesterday flowed into Kai like an injection.

"W-Wha? I fell asleep when?" Kai stuttered looking down at the rug he used as a bed.

"Last night, you were out in the cold…Are you done crying?" Ritsuka looked at Kai's pale tear stained face through his out grown bangs.

"I cried?" Kai couldn't remember crying. It seemed he had two other personalities other then his own. One seemed to be always sad and lonely…This is the one he knew best. Then, there was the angry bitter one, feeding on his doubts and fears. Causing him to plunge into even more fear and loneliness.

"How can you not remember, I swear you're bipolar." Ritsuka scoffed as he looked at Kai who tensed under his gaze.

"No…I suffer from schizophrenia, split personalities…" Kai admitted, "I have more then one. They have names too."

"Are you serious, I was just kidding?" Ritsuka felt bad now but, he listened as Kai continued.

"I've been part of a lab experiment pretty much all my life. As a side effect my mind created two personalities to protect this one, me, Kai. One is cold and hates everything, even me. It wants to control me. His name is Sei. The second holds all my fears and sorrows. He is always afraid and apologizing. Even when I'm not him, I act like him. He calls himself Rei." Kai finished and looked down to ashamed to look at Ritsuka. He had been the only person he told about his condition.

"Why have you been part of an experiment?" Ritsuka asked, his eyes opened up to the more complicated side of Kai.

"They wanted to know why I had a heart when I have this one my shoulder…" Kai then took of the sweater Ritsuka gave him the other day and he lifted his Unlucky T-shirt over his head too. He turned his body so his bale back was facing Ritsuka.

That's when Ritsuka saw the word "_Loveless" _etched on Kai's skin. The veins surrounding it were dark blue, as they had been pricked with needles countless times.

"They wanted to know why I existed. They said there was only meant to be one half of Loveless. I was born and they needed an answer as to why…" Kai's voice became cold.

"Kai…" Ritsuka started but, was cut off by Kai's stone cold voice."

"It was entirely your fault Ritsuka; it was you caused me all this pain." Kai looked up and his bright blue eyes shinned red in the light.

"Is it…Sei?" Ritsuka asked standing up from his bed.

"Heh, Kai likes you. I can't have that for where there is admiration there is determination. I will control this body. It will be mine!" Sei cackled smirking devilishly.

"No! You can't do that to him. He doesn't deserve it." Ritsuka protested. Kai admired him? How could anyone admire anyone like him? He was a terrible mess.

"Kai doesn't deserve it you say? Why, Ritsuka you're mistaken Kai doesn't deserve anything. He's so weak he _created _me and Rei. He couldn't deal with his emotions. So he created two new personalities to cope." Sei hissed at Ritsuka standing and towering over him. When he changed into him, he also grew about four inches.

"It's only because they did those awful things to him and you! He didn't mean to." Ritsuka pleaded with him.

"How would you know, you've been free all these years. Free to live and love. From what I understand you had a lover! You don't know what it means to have nothing." Sei advanced upon Ritsuka causing him to step back.

"How dare you say that! I'm not meant to love. Everyone who I hold dear to me dies or ends up hating me. I just wish that Kai can love too…But, because all those horrible things that happened to him I fear he will never experience warmth like I have." Ritsuka looked down tears forming in his eyes.

Kai's form let out a small moan of pain and he fell to the floor, blacking out.

Ritsuka ran up to the shirtless boy and hugged him, "I'm sorry Kai, I didn't know. You have to believe me."

None of Ritsuka's words made it to Kai because he was dead to the world in the deepest, quietest sleep he had ever known.

Ritsuka decided to pick him up and to his surprise Kai was very light. For good reason, you could see most of his ribs through his pale skin, probably from lack of nutrition. He laid him on his bed covering him up with his blanket.

He pulled up his computer chair and sat next to the bed, his dark eyes studying Kai's motionless figure. He felt drawn to him. It wasn't like he was draw to Soubi. It was as if he was destined to meet Kai. Watching him it was like they were both half of something bigger.

……………………

**Neko: BUM BUM BUM! Poor Kai-kun all alone in the world all he has are his 2 extreme personalities.**

**Kuro Neko: Yeah…whatever…**

**Neko: Shut up before I eat you!**

**Kuro Neko: Oh _so _scary!**

**Neko: Whatever shaddup!...Please review my lovelies!**


	5. You are my heart, I am your life

**Neko: Huwwo again….Not to many reviews but I just have to write in it! Ideas have been pouring into my little brain like a river of…of…I don't even know T.T**

**Kuro Neko: You're so stupid.**

**Neko: No one asked you ok!**

**Kuro: She doesn't own anything.**

**Neko: Neither do you…except your spastic inferno for a personality.**

**Kuro: Bite me…**

**Neko: With pleasure.**

…………………………………

_Chapter 5_

_You are my heart, I am your life._

_Kai…Time to get up…We have to leave before Ritsuka— _the voice in his head belonged to Rei this time. He wanted out before he had to explain anymore to the boy. It was too late, Ritsuka had already woken.

Kai opened his water colored eyes looked into Ritsuka's dark amethyst orbs. His eyes carried the dark cloud sleep gives you, like a storm inside the iris.

"Don't we have school…?" Kai asked groggily as he sat up, his head feeling heavy.

"It's Sunday." Ritsuka answered in the same sleepy voice. He got up from the chair only to sit next to Kai on his soft bed.

Kai found himself wrapping up in Ritsuka's light blue blanket, it was so cozy. He wasn't used to a comfortable bed, "I like your blanket…It smells good…and it's warm." Kai said into the blanket inhaling its aroma.

"It smells like me." Ritsuka could feel his face turn red.

"Then you smell _really _good." Kai let out a small laugh. Then realized something, "That's the first time I've laughed as me…" He admitted.

"Are you serious?" Ritsuka tilted his head in question as Kai nodded his head.

There was an awkward silence after that, the only thing audible was Kai's deep breathing to further tickle his nose with the addicting smell of Ritsuka.

"If you like it so much you can have the blanket…" Ritsuka offered with a blush on his face.

"Really?" Kai couldn't contain his joy so he bounced up and hugged Ritsuka who let out a surprised yelp. This sound made Kai laugh.

"Where did that come from?" Ritsuka asked looking at the chuckling Kai.

"Where did what come from?" Kai crawled over and looked at Ritsuka, their faces inches apart.

"You're so happy." Ritsuka couldn't help but smile at Kai, he was like an innocent little kid but, if you looked into those blue eyes you could see a tint of red then grey like a flash.

"I don't know, I guess I just needed to _talk _to some one…Thanks." With that the darker haired boy leaned in and kissed Ritsuka's cheek lightly.

This made Ritsuka blush a deep shade of red, it was only a light peck but his lips were so soft. He absent mindedly brought a hand to caress the spot he had kissed him.

"I-I'm sorry." Kai suddenly said feeling guilty.

"Don't be…" Ritsuka started but stopped and looked at Kai's eyes, they were now a light grey color.

"I shouldn't have done that, now you won't look at me." Rei looked up and Ritsuka turned away so that their eyes wouldn't meet. He didn't want to see Kai as anyone else. He wanted to see the real Kai as he had a few moments ago.

"Why can't you just let Kai control his life?" Ritsuka asked with a tinge of bitterness.

"It wasn't me. It was him; our emotions are intertwined when he feels sorry. I come out. Sei is the one who takes over…I'm sorry…" Rei was hugging tightly to the soft blanket.

"No, it's ok. I just wish Kai could be happy all the time like that…" Ritsuka looked away, he wanted to talk to Kai not Sei or Rei.

"You really want me to be happy…?"

"Kai?" Ritsuka turned around and saw those beautiful blue orbs.

"Yeah." A smile tugged at the corner of Kai's mouth.

It was Ritsuka's turn to be excited he fell over hugging Kai, "Good!"

Kai laughed again, this is the most he laughed ever, and he really liked Ritsuka. Maybe it was more then just _liking _him; he might have fallen in love with the amethyst eyed boy.

"Ritsuka…?" Kai said questioningly.

"Hm?" Ritsuka hummed, he was abnormally content with his current position. Kai and he had landed side by side but, he had his arms wrapped around Kai almost as if afraid to release him.

"Sei said you had a lover. Who is he?" Kai asked with a depressing heaviness tone to his whispering voice.

"Soubi…but he's gone." Ritsuka tensed up the memory was fresh in his mind, the slashes all over his Beloved's body.

"I shouldn't have asked I'm s--" He was cut off by Ritsuka's lips on his own.

It was an innocent kiss at first. Then Ritsuka deepened it and wouldn't stop until they both ran out of breath.

"Don't be sorry Kai. Never be sorry when you don't mean it." Ritsuka breathed into Kai's ear kissing just below the lobe of his human ear.

Kai let out a sharp gasp that being a sensitive spot which Ritsuka noted quickly.

"So you like your ears kissed?" Ritsuka smiled and kissed the same spot finding the same reaction.

"R-Ritsuka…" Kai murmured as he squirmed under Ritsuka.

"What's wrong Kai?" Ritsuka looked in Kai's eyes and found sadness, a never ending sadness, it scared him. He sat up bringing Kai into an embrace.

"Ritsuka…I'm sorry, I really am. Nothing you can say will change the fact that I'm sorry." Kai's voice was an airy whisper on the nape of Ritsuka's neck.

"Kai, stop! You don't _deserve_ to be sorry. I hate it when you say that. Just stop, ok?" Ritsuka held Kai's shoulder as he gently shook him, when he saw those beautiful blue eyes fill with water.

Kai was crying, something he did only as Rei, this time he was crying as himself. He was crying for real. It hurt his throat and the salt in his tears stung. He brought up the blanket Ritsuka gave him to cover his face also, just because he was addicted to the aroma of Ritsuka.

Ritsuka sat there his hand on Kai's; he just needed to let him cry it out. He bottled up all those emotions and distributed them to his alter egos. Now, he was feeling them for the first time.

_-You're pathetic Kai; really…Look at you, on HIS bed crying. You're showing your weakness Kai. When will you ever learn, let me out so I can fix this mess you've created._

_No Sei, you're not going to take over. I want him to me, I want everyone to see me, I exist now. I'm free…_

_-Free? Hah, you're never going to be free not with me inside you. I won't let you. I want to be free too. You created me, you're mistake._

_Shut up! I don't believe you…I don't._

_-Really? You don't…You don't sound so sure, what's wrong you can't wake up? Now you need my help don't you…?_

_Ritsuka…Where's Ritsuka, help me…Someone…_

Kai gripped his head and let out a scream of agony, he was losing again, Sei had trapped him in his mind, not allowing him escape until he took Kai over again.

"Stop it! Leave me alone, get out. I hate you. Stop it…Stop…I hate you…STOP!" Kai was rocking back and fourth his eyes closed tightly whispering in what seemed like a delirium.

"KAI, what's wrong. Wake up! Come on don't do this. What's _wrong!"_ Ritsuka pleaded as he realized Kai was having an internal power struggle with Sei, no doubt.

"_You know Ritsuka, we really hate you." _Kai looked up revealing that he was in fact Sei. His eyes showed that horrible blood color with Kai's blue trying to force it back. This made Sei look all the more terrifying.

"_All this switching is making little Kai exhausted. It is your entire fault. Kai doesn't like you. You are the cause of this mess Ritsuka it's you." _Sei said with a sneer as he inched closer to Ritsuka dropping the light blue blanket to the floor.

"I don't believe you." Ritsuka said as he looked away from Sei as if he were a demon.

"_Oh but you should. Kai tries to please everyone that's why he didn't stop you. He played along, he doesn't have the will to say 'no.' If you haven't forgotten that's how I was created. He needed a voice and here I am." _Sei flicked his hair back with an arrogant air to him.

"Leave! Let Kai be, he doesn't need you anymore. He escaped from those labs, now leave him." Ritsuka pushed Sei away from him.

"_He only escaped with my help! Don't act as if you know all that we have suffered through you insolent SWINE!" _Sei's eyes maddened and a red glow encased his back.

"W-what's happening?" Ritsuka looked at Sei with widened eyes anticipating the worst, he needed to find a way to get Kai back and fast.

…………………………………

**Neko: Another cliffy! Yes, I'm that evil! –laughs meniacly-**

**KuroNeko: Hey, it's my job to be evil.**

Neko: Well you're slow...

KuroNeko: I am not.

Neko: SHUT UP...and let my lovelies review...Come on, you know you like that semi-dramatic cliffy! Oh the drama, it brings a smile to my face!


	6. I'll heal your wounds

**Neko: Oki so here is chapter 6, I think I'm going to make this about 10 chapters long! I hope you enjoy this lovely angst and fluff filled installment of The Other Half of Nothing!**

**KuroNeko: You do know half your reviews consist of people hating you for cliff hangers, right?**

**Neko: Yes but, they still love me! I know you do otherwise you wouldn't give me a review in the first place! Nya.**

………………………………

_Chapter 6_

_I'll heal your wounds even if it means I'm gone._

Kai could hear all that was being said and could see the fear in Ritsuka's amethyst eyes. He feared for him and fought Sei with all his strength, which was not much.

"Kai, come back. Please, just so I can hear _your_ voice. I don't want to lose another person I love. I don't want to be Loveless." Ritsuka pleaded to no avail at the form before him, Sei.

"_My, my Ritsuka you really are as pathetic as him. You barely suffer and yet you stand in front of me with water in your eyes as if you've seen the pain. You sicken me." _Sei hissed as he grasped Ritsuka's small neck and held him off his feet, chocking him.

Ritsuka gasped for air but found nothing. He kicked his feet but soon his head became heavy and in one final attempt he struggled and broke free. He had managed to bring his right foot behind Sei's knee, knocking his leg from under him.

Ritsuka quickly grasped the sides of Sei's face and kissed him in an attempt to reach Kai, he succeeded.

The kiss was one sided at first, but as Kai regained control he returned the passionate kiss. Kai had finally found love and Ritsuka returned it.

"…Kai…" Ritsuka breathed into his ear.

"Mmm…" Kai mumbled lazily.

"I…I think I love you." Ritsuka kissed Kai's cheek.

"Well, I've never felt love before…" this made Ritsuka frown but, Kai continued "I think I love you as well." Kai smiled.

Ritsuka quickly embraced Kai, thrilled with the outcome of his confession. The moment didn't last long as Kai pried himself from Ritsuka's hold and frowned.

"Ritsuka…What will happen if Sei tries to come back. I-I can still hear him whispering in the back of my mind." Kai looked down at the floor and spotted his blanket. He dropped to the floor sitting cross-legged. He pulled the blanket to his face, cuddling it.

Ritsuka sat next to him and looked at him his purple eyes carrying sadness in them, "Kai…I don't know. Sei and Rei, they're not you. I can't stand them. They don't know you."

"Y-yes they do, ever since I was little. They were there to help, it was back when they wanted to help." Kai was talking as if he were a child, hugging the blanket and rocking back and forth slightly.

"Kai…" Ritsuka sighed and hugged him. All Ritsuka wanted to do now was protect Kai.

"Ritsuka…Will you promise never to leave me." Kai asked his eyes glazing over in unformed tears.

"Yes Kai, I promise." Ritsuka whispered and he wiped away Kai's now forming tears. _Only if you promise me the same._

……………………………….

**Neko: Well wasn't that heartfelt? I drew a pic of Ritsuka and Kai, it has nothing to do with the story, but it's still cute. Ritsuka's harder to draw then he seems.**

**Kuro: You're just stupid.**

**Neko: And you're mean.**

**Kuro: I know.**

**Neko: Please review as I beat the shit out of her!**


	7. You promised, now you're lying

**Neko: Wow, I just keep getting more ideas for this one. I want to finish it soon but, I kind of don't want it to end either. I may end up with a squeal.**

**KuroNeko: Maybe they don't want another story about 2 gay kitty boys.**

**Neko: You know you love my pretty Kai-kun!**

**KuroNeko: He's emo and schizophrenic…Not what I'd call the ideal 'catch.'**

**Neko: Ritsuka's attracted to weird people.**

**KuroNeko: He's got issues too, his mother is abusive, and his brother was a two faced bastard and his former lover was a Lolita-freak with a Lolita-complex.**

**Neko: ….**

…………………………

_Chapter 7_

_You promised, now you're lying…_

Kai had told Ritsuka he wasn't going to show up at school the next day. He didn't want to risk Sei hurting someone again. Ritsuka told him he'd meet him after school at the playground.

Kai was wandering the streets aimlessly, his blanket and a few other items he owned shoved into a bag Ritsuka gave him. He felt homeless; the only home he'd ever seen the inside of was Ritsuka's. As far as Kai knew he had no parents. Ritsuka was lucky, he had a mother. Though from what he heard she wasn't the nicest of people.

She still refused to give up the thought that the 'real' Ritsuka would come back, erasing the Ritsuka he fell in love with. Maybe Ritsuka's mother was right; maybe Ritsuka would disappear leaving him alone again.

"No, he promised he'd never leave me…He promised." Kai smiled to himself, he felt oddly complete even if he had no home, no family. He did have Ritsuka, he always would.

He reached the park they planned on meeting at and sat on the hard roots of a tree, leaning against its wide trunk. He reached in his bag and pulled out the blanket. There was still a chill in the air, it was early November and all he had as a jacket was his black "Unlucky" shirt. Ritsuka had argued with him saying he should wear something on top of it but, he said he could use his blanket.

He snuggled into the warmth of the blanket, breathing in the familiar scent, he felt drowsy. He hadn't gotten much sleep so he decided on taking a nap.

….

"Leave me alone." Ritsuka mumbled as he doodled in his math notebook.

"Ritsuka-kun, you're being colder then usual! Hey, I wonder where Urusawa-kun is today." Yuiko had her usual chipper attitude.

"K—I mean Urusawa-kun is probably sick or something. He wasn't wearing a jacket on Friday so I bet he caught a cold." Ritsuka told her trying to act like he didn't really know.

"Urusawa is sorta cute!" Ritsuka heard one of the girls in his class say. He was beginning to miss Kai; he hoped he would be warm enough.

"Ritsuka…Are you still sad about Soubi-san?" Yuiko dared to ask as Ritsuka stared blankly out the window.

Actually, Ritsuka had tried not to think about his lost lover. The way he had found him, with cuts all over his body. He had thought it was all a nightmare until the funeral. The casket was closed but he knew his butterfly was inside. Ritsuka still kept the silver ring he always wore on his right hand.

Now with Kai to protect and care for, he didn't know how he should act. It all happened so fast, he just hoped he wasn't doing the wrong thing.

"Ritsuka-kun?"

"No. It's not that, don't talk about Soubi anymore." Ritsuka said coldly, his face holding the same distant, solemn expression.

Yuiko frowned at him her perky features turning into a distinct pout, Ritsuka hated how she would do that expecting his opinion to change.

The rest of the day went on slowly, Ritsuka waiting for it to end so he could go make sure Kai was alright.

……………..

Kai would have slept all day if not for Ritsuka waking him up.

He opened his sleepy eyes and found pretty amethyst eyes staring at him, it almost looked as if they were smirking at him.

"Ritsuka!" Kai reached out throwing the blanket aside and tightly hugging Ritsuka.

"Hi." Ritsuka murmured into Kai's shirt, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"I missed you." Kai blushed as his uncontrollable black bangs fell over his eyes.

"How do you live with such messy hair?" Ritsuka question as he petted Kai's long hair.

"I like it." Kai stated simply.

"Ok, well…What do you want to do?" Ritsuka asked as Kai reached down to pick up the blanket he had become attached too.

"I…I'm kind of cold…" Kai said as he wrapped himself in the blanket, covering his face except his eyes as well.

"…Its Wednesday isn't it….?" Ritsuka asked as a rhetorical question.

"So?" Kai poked Ritsuka, cocking his head to the side quizzically.

"I…have to go somewhere." Ritsuka looked down, not wanting to tell Kai he went to therapy for fear he would get scared.

"Well, fine then I am coming with you!" Kai laughed a little, noting the fact Ritsuka was not happy.

"Kai…I don't know if you'll like it there, it's got doctors."

"W-what, b…but you're not going to let them…touch me right?" Kai asked his voice cracking as he began remember the people in white jackets. They always asked how he was doing, right before they stabbed him with a needle.

"Maybe I shouldn't go." Ritsuka suggested.

"No, if you have to go. Then I'll come too…" Kai looked down mentally afraid. He knew he would be ok, but the mere thought of doctors was a scary thing for him to over come.

…………….

When they reached Ritsuka's therapist's office, Kai clung to Ritsuka's arm. They managed to get to the front desk and Kai nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the woman in a long white jacket with an aggravated look on her face.

"Hello, I'm here for my weekly appointment." Ritsuka told the woman.

She looked up and put a small smile on her face, "Hello Aoyagi-kun, who is your friend, a relative? You two look awfully close." She addressed Kai who stepped behind Ritsuka.

"This is Kai." Ritsuka smiled allowing Kai to use him as a wall of protection. He made sure not to specify their relation and proceeded to walk down the hall with Kai in close tow.

"Ritsuka, you have weekly appointments here? For what, may I ask" Kai looked up at Ritsuka who stopped outside of a door.

"….Therapy…My mom is still waiting for the other Ritsuka to return, she thinks it will help." Ritsuka responded as if it were programmed into his mind.

"But Ritsuka! I don't want you to leave. I love this Ritsuka, just like you love me not Sei or Rei…" Kai was now staring at the floor.

"I'm not the real me Kai, this may all end any day…I'm…I'm sorry…" Ritsuka looked at Kai with sorrow in his amethyst eyes.

"I…I won't let you go if they're going to change you…You're the only person that's been kind to me…The only person that's shown me love, you can't just leave me!" Kai stood firmly now.

"Kai…I'm sure you'll find someone new, who could resist such a cute stray cat anyways? I know the real Ritsuka will come back and mother will be happy. So, I must do everything I can to make it better, after all it's my fault." Ritsuka put on a smile as he opened the door.

"Ritsuka! Stop talking like this I won't let you go!" Kai stomped his foot defiantly and stood in front of Ritsuka preventing him from entering the small room.

All the while Ritsuka's therapist was watching the ongoing fiasco. She just stood there, shock apparent on her face, she looked Kai over he was about the same age as Ritsuka. They were obviously close if Ritsuka brought him here. From the sounds of the argument Kai was stating all the points she wanted to get across to Ritsuka in therapy. Only, Ritsuka didn't think he was trying to help. She just stood back and let Kai try to convince Ritsuka.

"I have to be the old Ritsuka from 2 years ago! I'm not supposed to be here. I can't love if I don't exist, Kai. I'm sorry!" Ritsuka pleaded.

"It doesn't matter! You exist to me and you showed me love, you can to love! Don't do this Ritsuka; I won't let you leave me." Kai's eyes flashed dangerously red, the pigment was threatening to engulf his beautiful blue eyes.

Ritsuka noticed it to late, Kai was gripping his head, muttering arguments to Sei again.

"Stop it! Why are you doing this, leave me alone! What did I do to you? Leave…Just leave, I'm begging you." Kai mumbled before his alter personality Sei looked up with determined red eyes.

"So, we meet again Ritsuka…You really have a knack for causing Kai extreme emotions, so extreme he needs me to cope." Sei smirked and looked over at the therapist.

"You really are pathetic, all of you. All you do is tear up people's consciousness…But, I guess I have your kind to thank for my existence." Sei looked back to Ritsuka who was awe struck.

It was him that caused all of Kai's extreme emotions, whether it be sadness, Rei, or resentment and determination, Sei. He felt guilty, he was to busy thinking about his own pathetic worries to see the turmoil behind Kai's eyes. He should have never let him come here.

"Kai…If you can hear me, I'm sorry. I never realized how much I've hurt you until now. I'm so sorry. All your pain this past week has been my doing, if you can even think to forgive me…" Ritsuka stifled a sob as if he wasn't aloud to cry. He pushed past Sei and ran, ran again…Just like when he wanted to run from Soubi's funeral. It felt horrible to run, but it was all he knew how to do.

Kai came back with tears in his eyes. He looked at the floor and whispered, "You promised you'd never leave me Ritsuka…You promised…Just like everyone else you're leaving." He smiled a sorrowful smile and looked at the therapist, "he's gone."

……………………………………….

Neko: Thank you for waiting…You guys are probably pissed, I know it. This chapter ended up as planned, for once. I don't know if it sounds as good as I'd like, but I said what was needed and the dialogue is just how I planned!

KuroNeko: Ha ha Kai is all alone…And Ritsuka is going to go emo.

Neko: How do you know that! It may end up happy for all you know you mean mean person.

Kuro: I know you…It'll be angst-y…You'd die if it was to happy.

Neko: I WOULD NOT!

Kuro: Oh, shut it so they can review if they want. I doubt they will you suck that much.

Neko: ;0; meanie!


	8. Kill me, Kiss me

Neko: Woo…chapter 8…I honestly don't know how long this will be! Wow, really has been awhile since I updated…I'm really sorry! I'll let you kill me, just let me update first ok?

Kuro: They have probably forgotten all about the kitty boys

Neko: Why are you so cruel?

Kuro: Because, that's how you made me...

…………

_Chapter 8_

_Kill me, kiss me, see me?_

Ritsuka had made it home, but he couldn't bring himself to go in. He looked at it like a homeless child through the window. His mother was home, making dinner or something.

He wanted his mother to be happy again, the way she was happy when Semei was alive. He wanted to be happy, like when Soubi was alive. He just wanted everything to go back to normal…_What is normal?_ He felt so devoid of emotions, he couldn't even cry. It was as if he wasn't permitted.

He laughed at himself, he was pathetic, and Kai had it worse. Kai, he had never experienced love before, and when he was so alone…He created Sei and Rei, his alter personalities. Like him, Kai wasn't meant to exist.

He felt completely lost. He had said he couldn't love Kai, and yet every thought led him to the blue eyed boy.

Ritsuka ran into his house and stood before his mother, his face twisted in a combination of regret and determination.

"Ritsuka, are you back?" His mother asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"I'm here! You see me, I'm Ritsuka, I may not exist to you but I am! Tell me what do you see?! Have I lost my mind?" He stood there his breathing heavy, from shouting.

His mother just stood there, "NO! You're not Ritsuka. Make him come back!" She picked up a glass and through it at the wall sending shattered pieces all over, one hit Ritsuka's face.

He yelped in pain and ran out of the house, "I'm sorry I exist."

…….

Kai was sitting in the park curled up in his blanket that still had traces of Ritsuka on it.

He had cried for a few hours. He felt as if there were a hole in his heart. Ritsuka had left him. He may not have known or loved him long but, he was his first love. The only one who cared for him. The only one who cared if he was ok.

He was as Ritsuka said; a stray cat, only everyone would ignore him. All he wanted was for Ritsuka to stay with him, and he drove him away.

Kai had no one. Maybe he had no one to begin with. All he wanted was some one to see him, and take him for what he was. He wanted some one to see through Sei and Rei's personality. He was so hopelessly hopeless.

He curled around the blanket which had been given to him not even a few days ago. It felt so far away now. The light faded blue material wasn't enough to block the chill. He sighed and leaned back against the tree, falling into a cold slumber.

It was in this state he could hear his voices as if they were out of his head. It was here Sei tore down his walls. Here, he would repeat the process, and there was no way for Kai to stop it.

_You should have never gotten close to him. _Sei's voice was dripping with rage; _you can't lose something you never had. So why are you sulking? Kai…oh woe is you! You're so very pathetic. Really, Ritsuka never cared for you, he said so himself he can't. You're just a lonely forgotten stray no one could ever love._

Inside of Kai's mind he was in a corner trying to shield himself from the mental attacks.

_Sei was right…No one cares about him, no one ever will. So, who was he kidding?_ This is what the weak part of Kai was telling him.

_He cared for me; I know it, even if it wasn't a lot! I know it._ His inner fire was slowly growing.

_So then, why did he leave, why did he not even give you a second glance? _Sei replied curtly.

_I…I don't know. _It was happening again, the doubts were taking over. One doubt that Sei could exploit and he was in control.

Outwardly, Kai's eyes had opened and they looked devoid of emotions. The red fire was slowly devouring at the crisp blue like a rabid beast. He didn't have any will left, he looked like a lifeless doll that had been cracked and beaten.

A tear slid down his face and then both of Kai's wonderfully clear, unprotected eyes were engulfed in the tainted red of Sei.

"_Ah…It feels so good to be in control. Now, where is that brat that you like so much Kai?" _Sei's hissed and threw down Ritsuka's blanket without hesitation. He was going to find the boy that was causing him so much trouble, and he would become the dominant personality.

"_How could one little mark bond two strangers?"_

………..

Neko: ok…ok I know. It was short and yes, I just made a cliffy. Sorry! It's necessary though…And thank you all so much for reading. And I cannot express how much joy your reviews bring me…I really have no excuse for not updating..Just be glad I did I guess. I haven't updated my fics in sooo long. Find it in your hearts to review and stuff, even if you say you hate me for not updating in like…a lot of months…

(I think this fic will have tops, 2 more chapters so…and I need someone to maybe edit or like…yell at me for not updating…and maybe help with ideas for a sequel? So…If you want to be my editor-type person PM me or something...)


	9. When You Go

**Neko: **I would like to thank you all very much for the reviews and continied support! Me and my lazy ass need to kick it into gear with this thing 1 more chapter on this and what do I hear? An epilogue coming on? Hell yeah...

Anyways, I would like to give special thanks to my awesome editor..IN THE UK...how cool is that?? Haha..I'm stupid, sorry. She edited this lovely chapter so that it sounds better for you guys and yeah...Thanks so much hm, I'll call you **Miss M**! I need more caffine...So on with the fic, Ritsuka and Yuiko aren't mine but Kai, Rei, and Sei are all mine..you can't have them.

-----------------

"I didn't mean to hurt him Yuiko…" The frail boy before her said, the love of her life was crying over someone else yet again and it pained her.

Ritsuka had shown up an hour before knocking on her family's door with tears running down a flushed face. He was the picture of misery. She had thought it was just going to be about his lost 'friend' Soubi. The man whose relationship with the boy was only known between he and himself.

"So…you like Urusawa-kun?" Yuiko asked with a pout, oblivious to how deep her words would cut.

"Of course I do!" Ritsuka shouted and turned bright red.

"But you hardly know him." Yuiko was beginning to understand that sickening feeling of jealousy.

"I know. But, Yuiko we have matching scars. He needs me. I don't know why but I'm supposed to sacrifice everything for Kai!" Ritsuka's eyes lit up with the sudden realization. He needed to find the boy that was to fight with him. The boy that shouldn't exist and yet he did, he existed for Ritsuka. Those beautiful blue eyes that were his alone. He realized.

"I'm in love with him…" Ritsuka got up but Yuiko grabbed his wrist.

"Ritsuka, it's not right! None of this is making any sense." The pink haired girl's eyes filled with tears and her body began to shake in a pathetic jealous attempt at rage.

"Yuiko…?" Ritsuka looked at her questioningly oblivious to the love his friend held for him.

"Don't you like me Ritsuka?" Yuiko asked in a shaky voice.

"Of course I do Yuiko-chan. Can you let go of me, I need to go."

She grew tired of playing fair, "do you love him more then Soubi?" Her voice was cold and spit venom.

Ritsuka stood frozen he had loved Soubi. Soubi was his first love, Soubi knew his beloved brother and Soubi had loved him. This love for Kai though, it felt so right he had almost forgotten the pain of losing his butterfly.

"I…" Ritsuka barely choked out, why would she ask that?

"Well?" Yuiko let him go and stared at him her eyes shot daggers, pinning him to where he stood squirming in an emotional struggle.

"I…Don't know." The boy with amethyst eyes ran out of her room. Just like that. She lost her best friend to a boy he barely knew.

…………..

"NO! I won't let you hurt him, please Sei…I'll let you take over just don't hurt Ritsuka." Kai pleaded.

"_Oh, you'll be leaving either way. I just want some fun my dear Kai. Quite frankly your little Ritsuka just annoys me."_

"What are you going to do to him?" Kai wanted to cry. He didn't know what to do with all these emotions. He was so used to siphoning them off to Rei and Sei. Now that Sei just wanted out he felt like he was half gone and Rei wasn't going to stand up and help him.

"_Oh, you'll see and you won't be able to stop it"_ Sei's voice got softer so that it sounded like Kai's and his eyes changed to a dirtied blue.

Ritsuka ran to the park in naïve hopes of finding Kai there, yet all he found was the faded blanket he had given to him because the boy loved _his_ smell. When Ritsuka's eyes saw the forgotten piece of warmth that he had given away it felt like a drop in his stomach, the queasy feeling you get when you don't know what will happen when you hit the floor. He felt like he couldn't take anymore of this. Was this the fate of the name etched into his shoulder? All the pain of losing Soubi and now losing Kai, all this hurt was the fault of Sepital Moon.

As Ritsuka lost himself deeper in his anger, Sei crept up in the perfect guise, he was Kai.

"..Ritsuka…" Kai's small voice was hardly audible through the cold.

Ritsuka's head shot up, the dams behind his eyes flooding with salty tears of joy, "Kai…" he breathed he ran up to him throwing his tiny arms around his neck.

"I love you Ritsuka." Kai smiled though, behind dirty eyes the true Kai was in a frenzy.

_-Go away Sei! Leave him alone, god don't hurt him. Let me out!! Please, I won't even go to see him anymore don't do this!-_

"Shut UP! Go away you retch!" Sei's voice darkened as he tried to keep up the façade.

"Is it him again?" Ritsuka asked pulling away from him to see Kai's face better.

In his eyes a violent struggle of color surged through the iris, "he won't go away." Sei's voice softened and continued to fool Ritsuka.

"I'm so sorry Kai." Ritsuka managed and wiped his eyes. Sei took this as an open invitation to follow through with his demented plans. He leaned into the boy and kissed him with no reservation. Ritsuka tried to keep it innocent but Sei entwined his tongue around Ritsuka's deepening it.

They broke away for a split second and Ritsuka's face flushed; something wasn't right with that kiss. Before he had time to react he felt himself being shoved against the tree by who he now knew was Sei, but it was too late.

"Ah, you're so easy to fool, silly boy, Kai hates you now." Sei grinned and rubbed his hand up Ritsuka's inner thigh while holding his throat with his free hand.

"Nng…Stop….Please…," was all Ritsuka could manage.

"Hm..Stop? Is that what you said?" Sei pinched down Ritsuka's neck causing a pained squeak when ever his teeth made contact with skin. He was enjoying every second of Ritsuka's pain. He was going to rip his heart out and watch it bleed. He would own this body from now on.

"This is growing less amusing." Sei's hand reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small but very sharp knife.

Ritsuka began to kick and scream when he saw this but there was no escaping the stone grip of Sei.

"I wonder how your blood will taste." Sei brought the knife to his cheek and slid it down slowly causing him to wince. As the blood sweltered out of the small crevice Sei licked up the irony substance.

"Disgusting...just like your smell and taste." Sei wrinkled his nose in utter distaste, he was getting bored. He rolled up the sleeves of Ritsuka's sweat shirt and cut up his wrists artfully. They looked self inflicted.

"I want you to know one thing before you die…" Sei whispered into Ritsuka's ear.

Ritsuka twitched and squeaked at the pain erupting in his arms, it burned and itched. "I want you to know, that name on your shoulder will always be true, you are Loveless, and this is where it ends. You will be Loveless until your very last breath. God is laughing in your face and your last breath will be a lonely one, you disgusting little brat." Sei's smile was malicious as his eyes lit up like a maniac and he shoved the knife _deep_ into Ritsuka's stomach.

"You'll bleed to death in a matter of hours…" Sei placed the knife in Ritsuka's hand so it looked like suicide and strode away into the distance.

Ritsuka laid there, his vision blurred; not knowing if it was his tears or blood anymore.

Was this how Soubi felt when he was dying? Were his last moments this lonely? Why couldn't I feel him when it happened? What happened to our bond…that brilliant line that bound us together? Would Kai and I have shared that bond? Does he really hate me…?

I'm dying, what does it matter? Kai hates me; maybe I'll finally see my beautiful butterfly again…

Or will death be as lonely as this? Nothing could be worse then this feeling. Like all my warmth is pouring out on this cold ground.

I think…I think I'll close my eyes…It's so bright here.

"…I love you…"

-----------

**Neko**: I'm terrible. I know. Thanks for reading see you in chapter 10 and REVIEW


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